pigeon shenanagains

Yesterday morning, there was a third pigeon on the balcony!!  This one was smaller than Burt, sort of a white & brown mottled bird.  However, like the other pigeon stranger, this one is also without tags. 

This morning, both of the strange birds showed up together!!  Well.  A line had to be drawn somewhere, & this is where Roomie & i decided to draw it.  No colonies of pigeons.  It's one thing to feed one lost pigeon (since that's what these professional pigeon persons said to do when emailed,) & it's one thing to clean up one bird's poop from your balcony.  It's an entirely different thing to be attracting random pigeons & surrendering your $800 view to the pecking & pooping of an ever-increasing flock.  And besides, Burt doesn't even do anything!  All day, he lounges around the balcony, pooping.  Doesn't he have bird things to do?  Get a job, jerk!!  (The only advantage i have over Burt is that i don't poop in the apartment.. so at least there's that.)

And so, the bird battle began.

It took both of us five minutes just to shoo him off the balcony at all, & even then he would just fly back to the other side.  Eventually, we wised up, putting on shoes & pushing all the furniture against the building, allowing us to run freely along the rail, shooing at him with our feet that no longer gingerly tiptoed around pigeon poopy traps.  Finally, we started scrubbing this week's bird turds off the balcony (& table & chairs & chaise lounge) while Burt watches, concerned from nearby balconies & fire escapes.  When he isn't cooing curiously from just outside of our reach, he's circling the building after his failed attempts to perch outside our rail.

Realizing that mere shooing would be unsuccessful in reclaiming our balcony, Roomie & i weigh our options:  Adopt a Cuban homing pigeon, or relocate said pigeon.

We open the screen door, & he just saunters right in.  Luckily, we thought to close said door, as our attempts to corral him into a box using tennis racquets failed & i snatched him up in a towel as he was fluttering against the screen.  As nonchalantly as we could manage, we carried this pigeon in a box into the elevator & through the lobby.  We drove a few islands away, maybe fifteen miles from our landmark of a building.  When we opened the box he hopped around for a few moments before taking off.  He flew in 5 or 6 increasing circles before disappearing.  Now all we can do is wait.

busy morning on the canal

At home, sitting at ground level on the porch, sounds came in a straight line, origin easily identified by their volume & directional line.  Eighty feet above the canal, noise floods in from all direction, the waves lapping against the coral intertwine with screaming gulls, shouts of people in their million dollar homes on the next island, & the fishing boats carting tourists into the great Atlantic, building one solid wash of noise, a cacophony from only one direction: below.

So, in the event that is of any interest to you at all...

A List of Sounds Overheard from the Canal:

- construction

- spanish-speaking workers doing said construction

- a barking dog that lives in a near-by sail boat

- a boat captain discussing the following items with today's clients:

- the weather

- what kind of fish they'll catch

- accidentally spilling motor-oil into the canal the last time he was maintenanced the boat

- his new haircut 

- "do it from the top, or you'll kink it!" (i think he was talking about a hose?)

- the color of his hands after this week's sunburn

- "it was nasty, but i had to do it.. it was just a bunch of muck." (i have no idea what this line was in reference to)

- and of course, the incessant screaming of birds

pigeons, plural

Two days ago, i was in the apartment when i noticed a strange cooing from our balcony.  By strange, i mean both a different pattern of vocalizations than what Burt (our Cuban racing pigeon) usually makes, & also a different pigeon voice.  Upon investigation, i discover a much larger, darker pigeon chasing our much smaller grey pigeon around the balcony.  I sat, quietly watching the scene, uncertain of what to do.  Noticing that this new pigeon is without tags, i decided to put our tennis rackets to use, shooing the wild bird away.

The next day, the same thing happens again.  Same cooing, same shooing.

This evening, Roomie & I sat outside, thrilled by the sight of two baby dolphins in the canal, when we noticed a sudden swooping of feathers around the building.  It was Burt, alternatively pursuing & being pursued by the black pigeon.  Curious, we watched, until Roomie finally suggested, 'What if Burt is actually a lady bird?  A sexy lady bird?"  Of course, neither of us know the answer to that question, but it has now posed the new question of what to do regarding this new visitor? (And, given the amount of poop one pigeon produces, this visitor is one we aren't hoping to encourage.)

nosey old neighbors

For the first time in my life, i live in a high-rise apartment building.  Not New York style high-rise, but at 13 stories, it's the tallest building in the city.  The building is full of privately owned condos, not rented apartments.  Most of the residents are about ninety-million years old, & it seems that some of the condos are vacation homes which sit empty most of the year.  We rent our studio from a guy who (we think) inherited the place from his dead parents.  

Yesterday, as requested by the 'house rules' in the elevator, i introduced myself to the building manager.  After my interview, i walk into the office, where there is a BB-gun on the counter (or at least, i hope it was only a BB-gun.)  I explained that i had just moved into number blablabla & that Mr. Whosit, our landlord had instructed me to introduce myself & order an additional key for the building.  The manager, younger than most of the tenants at a probable 65, seemed confused that there were two of us in the apartment, & further confused when he couldn't find my roommate's info card.  He said he couldn't copy the key for me until after he spoke with our landlord, which i agreed was reasonable, & politely said he could reach my using the phone number on the card i filled out.

Shortly thereafter, I set out to walk to our nearby beach.  In front of the building was a gaggle of old people talking with the manager.  I shyly waved & said hello as i passed, & set out enjoying my sunny day on the beach.

Cut to my roommate coming home, having just received an email from Mr. Whosit, informing us that someone in the building has complained that there are two of us living in this apartment.  To me, this means that either the manager doesn't like it, & he complained, or after i passed through the gathering of elders on my way to the beach, some nosey oldie learned of our situation through the manager & they complained.  

Obviously we're pretty irate about the situation.  The landlord's parents lived here together, for one thing.  What if we were a couple?  Would it be a problem then?  Or maybe that is precisely the issue: they think we're a couple, & don't like the idea of two lesbians living in their building.  That, or they hate poor people.  Maybe both.  We can't think of anything else that would be a problem.  We're polite, quite, unobtrusive, what more could you want from neighbors?  Would they rather a young couple with babies move in?  Or an[other] elderly man that watches Wheel of Fortune at top volume?  Apparently.