pigeon shenanagains

Yesterday morning, there was a third pigeon on the balcony!!  This one was smaller than Burt, sort of a white & brown mottled bird.  However, like the other pigeon stranger, this one is also without tags. 

This morning, both of the strange birds showed up together!!  Well.  A line had to be drawn somewhere, & this is where Roomie & i decided to draw it.  No colonies of pigeons.  It's one thing to feed one lost pigeon (since that's what these professional pigeon persons said to do when emailed,) & it's one thing to clean up one bird's poop from your balcony.  It's an entirely different thing to be attracting random pigeons & surrendering your $800 view to the pecking & pooping of an ever-increasing flock.  And besides, Burt doesn't even do anything!  All day, he lounges around the balcony, pooping.  Doesn't he have bird things to do?  Get a job, jerk!!  (The only advantage i have over Burt is that i don't poop in the apartment.. so at least there's that.)

And so, the bird battle began.

It took both of us five minutes just to shoo him off the balcony at all, & even then he would just fly back to the other side.  Eventually, we wised up, putting on shoes & pushing all the furniture against the building, allowing us to run freely along the rail, shooing at him with our feet that no longer gingerly tiptoed around pigeon poopy traps.  Finally, we started scrubbing this week's bird turds off the balcony (& table & chairs & chaise lounge) while Burt watches, concerned from nearby balconies & fire escapes.  When he isn't cooing curiously from just outside of our reach, he's circling the building after his failed attempts to perch outside our rail.

Realizing that mere shooing would be unsuccessful in reclaiming our balcony, Roomie & i weigh our options:  Adopt a Cuban homing pigeon, or relocate said pigeon.

We open the screen door, & he just saunters right in.  Luckily, we thought to close said door, as our attempts to corral him into a box using tennis racquets failed & i snatched him up in a towel as he was fluttering against the screen.  As nonchalantly as we could manage, we carried this pigeon in a box into the elevator & through the lobby.  We drove a few islands away, maybe fifteen miles from our landmark of a building.  When we opened the box he hopped around for a few moments before taking off.  He flew in 5 or 6 increasing circles before disappearing.  Now all we can do is wait.